In my previous blog, I introduced the idea of how to be more compelling. I encourage you to read it first. My premise is that to become more compelling, you must start with being who you are.
Being the person you are is fundamental to being more compelling. It leads to personal confidence in yourself and improves your ability to compel those you seek to influence. Projecting a healthy and consistent personal identity is imperative for people to fully support you, your ideas, or your cause.
As mentioned in the previous blog, this topic was influenced by Roger Ailes’ book, You Are the Message. A book I randomly came across. I ended the blog with one step, to become more compelling is to be more authentic. Ailes introduces chapter 9 with a definition of what it is to be a charismatic person. It is easy to equate compelling people to charismatic personalities. Ailes worked with U.S. presidents and movie stars during his long career. He understands charisma. He also understands everyone needs some level of charisma if they are to have any influence on other people. Yet, he hints that it does not come easy for some. He expands our perception of the charismatic person by stating,
Not all types of charisma require a person to be loud or flashy. A better test is whether other people listen and answer with respect.
Getting others to listen and answer with respect is a real sign that you have compelling influence. So how do you do this? Consider these characteristics charismatic people typically reflect.
- They understand and accept who they are resulting in good self-identity. This helps them know how to relate to others and, in-turn, listen to others and answer with respect.
- They know what they believe and live accordingly. Asserting a belief and living contrary to it is the very definition of hypocrisy. The opposite of hypocrisy is described with words like authenticity.
- They have a mission and goals for their life that are bigger than themselves. Compelling people do not live by the phrase, It’s all about me.
- They project optimism without pretentiousness. This is a tricky balance. They paint the big picture that may require a lot of stretching, but it does not require a blind leap in pursuit of excessive claims.
- They welcome the positive response of others to their leadership or work. The very definition of charisma is grace. A positive response does not feed their ego, but prompts them to shares credit.
- They understand the value they bring to a situation and do not doubt their abilities. They are competent people who deliver excellence and lead by example.
- They stay focused on their mission, objectives, and goals. This is only possible when these focus areas are, either consciously or subconsciously, congruent with their intrinsic motivations.
Certain lifetime achievements, unique experiences, or personal attributes can increase a person’s charisma. A blind man who climbs Mount Everest, a woman surviving a dramatic plane crash, being born with strong attributes of courage, leadership, and faith are examples. These are things that you do not affect in your life. You can be more compelling by taking these active steps that characterize charismatic people as long as they are congruent with your personal identity and intrinsic motivations.
What are some other components of becoming a more compelling person?